Jr 20:7-18
12 September 2004
“I Love You, Lord, But I’m Mad at You”
To some people, my sermon title doesn’t make sense. It seems to combine two things that cannot, or at least should not, go together. To admit being mad at God seems a bit like sacrilege. Still, there are a number of places in the Bible, such as the Psalms, where the faithful express anger at God. In some ways, it’s impossible to have love without ever having anger.
Our Old Testament reading is one of the so-called Confessions of Jeremiah. Others are found in chapters 11, 12, 15, 17, and 18. Really, a better word for them would be his “complaints.” These laments of Jeremiah are the origin of the word “jeremiad.” More so than with the other prophets, it’s Jeremiah who provides these glimpses into the inner workings of his mind. We get some sense of his psychological profile.
And, as you can tell, he’s not exactly jumping for joy! He starts off in verse 7 by using a word (ht;P;, pathah), translated here as “enticed,” that can also mean “seduced.” And the Hebrew word for “overpowered” (qz'j;, hazaq) can also mean “seized” or even “raped.” To say that Jeremiah is upset with God would be something of an understatement.
As I was thinking about this, I remembered a certain scene from the movie “The Apostle,” starring Robert Duvall. He plays an extremely charismatic minister in Texas, one whose preaching ability is all but rivaled by his love of women and his propensity to violence.
The scene I’m thinking of comes right after his wife, played by Farrah Fawcett, has broken up with him. She’s gotten tired of his infidelity, and she herself is now having an affair—with the youth pastor. Robert Duvall’s character, Sonny, spends a sleepless night, uttering his own jeremiads.
“I don’t know who’s been foolin’ with me, you or the devil,” Sonny yells. “I’m confused; I’m mad; I love you Lord. I love you, but I’m mad at you! I am mad at you!” He goes on with his anguished prayer: “I’m your servant! Since I was a little boy, you brought me back from the dead. I’m your servant!”
Long story short. His violent nature gets the better of him, and he’s forced to go on the run. Still, even as a fugitive, Sonny continues, much like the prophet Jeremiah, to proclaim the word of the Lord.
So what is it that’s got Jeremiah so upset? Towards the end of chapter 19, we see Jeremiah at the temple itself, proclaiming his message of repent or be destroyed by the Babylonians, who are preparing to invade the country. Actually, he’s saying that it’s too late. You’ve had your chance! Get ready for the pain!
As we move into chapter 20, we’re introduced to “the priest Pashhur…chief officer in the house of the Lord” (v. 1)—one of the big mucky-mucks. He’s been listening to Jeremiah’s ranting and decides he doesn’t like it. He has Jeremiah beaten and put into the stocks. The Bible says all this in one verse (v. 2), so it’s easy to read it and go on without really thinking about it.
But there’s a lot of suffering in that one verse. Imagine how you would feel. Some goon beats the crap out of you. Then your arms and legs are locked into an uncomfortable position—you’re crouched over—and you’re forced to spend the whole night that way. So not only are the wounds from the beating unattended to, but there’s the pain from the contorted limbs as they’re held in the stocks. Added to that is whatever extra abuse passersby may choose to inflict, be it slapping, spitting, or mocking. No, Jeremiah is not, as they say, a happy camper.
This incident graphically illustrates how Jeremiah has been treated ever since he began speaking the truth that God has given him—which by the way, was when he was a boy! He’s always been unpopular; he’s been the object of laughter. He’s been mocked, as we see in verse 10: “Terror is all around!,” a phrase he’s used more than once.
At the beginning of chapter 16, God tells him that he’s not to take a wife, since the place is doomed. Clearly, Jeremiah has never had much of a social life! Even people he thought were friends have turned on him.
The prophet has not only been the object of ridicule; he’s been the object of rage. He has a lot of enemies, and some of them are enemies in high places. This talk of his about needing to repent is bad enough! He’s saying that people, especially those with influence, need to change their ways. But when he says that it’s necessary to work with the Babylonians, he’s crossed the line. Jeremiah is showing his true colors—treasonous dirtbag that he is!
You know, when you speak truth to power, you might get labeled a traitor. That’s been true in more than one time and place.
So, after taking all this abuse, after being the butt of numerous jokes, after character assassination, and actual assassination plots, this is Jeremiah’s reward: a night of agony. It’s no surprise, I guess, that he’s got some issues!
Verse 9 seems to indicate that he’s tried keeping silent at times. You know, it’s hard to endure being a social pariah for very long. (Trust me on this one!) Jeremiah has made efforts to just lay low, to not make waves, to join the silent majority—like we have in this country.
The problem with this is that he’s denying who he is. Jeremiah is a prophet. God has shown him certain things. He has been made aware of many things that are true. And as agonizing as the treatment by the…blind fools around him has been, it’s even more agonizing to just sit on the truth. “[W]ithin me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones,” he says, “I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.” The New Jerusalem Bible speaks of “a fire burning in my heart.”
If Jeremiah is mad at God, there’s still no denying that he loves God. Verse 13, with its song of praise to the Lord, ultimately shows why the prophet’s pain is so great. He deeply loves his Lord—how can these terrible things keep happening? Right now, I’m thinking of the bad stuff that’s come his way. Next week, we’ll see how deeply pained he is at what’s happened to his people.
This is a sign of his conflicted feelings. The love-anger relationship Jeremiah has with God sometimes looks like a love-hate relationship. That’s especially so at the end of the chapter. He laments the fact that he was ever born, and he pronounces a curse on the man who spread the news of his birth. This struggle within the prophet is one that exists in many of us. We may or may not regret that we were ever born, but the battle that Jeremiah felt is there.
One writer wonders, “Do you know anything of that? Perhaps not with respect to public preaching—we are not all called to that. But have you ever felt that you just had to speak out? Some injustice…some scandalous conduct, some loveless hypocrisy was occurring, and you just could not keep quiet about it. And yet you knew that if you spoke out you would only get into trouble, and nobody would thank you for it—you would only upset the status quo and create strife—but you could not contain yourself.”[1]
Do we have that fire in our heart? Does it need to be rekindled? Or does it need to be kindled for the first time in our life?
In our epistle reading (1 Tm 1:12-17), Paul claims for himself the title, “the foremost” of sinners (v. 15). This is the apostle Paul, mind you. Does he know something that we don’t? Well, I imagine he does. He knows himself. He knows the times that he’s kept the fire of God shut up inside. And he knows the times that he’s been irresponsible and burned other people.
In our gospel reading (Lk 15:1-10), it’s reported of Jesus, “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them” (v. 2). The people saying this are the spiritual leaders, so they must be really excited that Jesus is reaching out to these wayward souls! Not quite. The Bible says that they “were grumbling.” They were grumbling!
God have mercy if there’s not enough love in us to care what happens to people! (And on a related note: I’ve heard various Christians from the southern part of the world—Latin America, Africa, and Asia—reflect on the lack of love in the North American church. Many Christians there, very seriously, see us as a vast mission field.)
Jeanne told me that she wanted to base her children’s sermon on this reading from Jeremiah, but she was having some real difficulty with it. It is, for the most part, a pretty gloomy scripture text. It’s not for nothing that Jeremiah has been called “the weeping prophet.”
Jeremiah cries because he cares. Sometimes that means feeling frustration, feeling anger—at oneself and at God. But remember, if we’re angry at God, God is big enough to handle it. And if we’re angry at ourselves, remember that we are loved with the most intense love in the universe. Because of all that, we are set free to care.